DO MY BELIEFS JUDGE YOU?
Well let’s explore the answer to this question together, by breaking down a few things. The two main words at play in this question are “beliefs” and “judge”. Before we go on, I quickly want to mention that I felt compelled to write about this topic because I see so much conflict in our world today even between close friends…conflict that I believe is simply unnecessary.
Let’s begin by exploring the topic of beliefs. Beliefs are very personal, they are formed by our own experiences and interpretations of the world, from a young age up until this very moment. They are as much a part of our individual blueprint as everything else that is true about us. They make us the unique and authentic individual that we are today and they are the main influencers of our choices and decisions.
Expressing our beliefs out loud is really no different than the clothes we choose to wear, the tattoos we have, the hair style we rock. The only difference is they are expressions of our internal self vs. our external self, if you will. So just as we change our preference about our external appearance over time, we continuously adjust our beliefs to align with our higher self and to that which rings truest in our heart of hearts. We often realize that our beliefs were adopted from parents, relatives, society, school teachers, etc. So we adjust.
We hold personal beliefs in every aspect of our life. So to pick a complex vs simple illustration would be to say that someone’s beliefs about the existence of God and afterlife shouldn’t be any different than our own personal belief on what flavor shake is the best. If I like chocolate and you like vanilla, we can easily accept the difference and still be connected. Therefore by comparison, if I believe in God and you don’t we should be just as accepting about that difference. Agree?
Ok let’s move on to judgements. At its core, a judgment is an opinion or decision based on thoughts, feelings and evidence. We make hundreds of them every day. They are, in fact, decisions about how to act in a given situation. These judgments are made based on the information that is being taken in through our five senses and through our intuition. In fact, our beliefs are a huge influencer of how we will judge the situations that appears in front of us. Sometimes the judgments are habitual and sometimes they are made consciously.
So you see, judgement only becomes a problem when it’s definition becomes “non acceptance”. If my beliefs are different than yours and I decide to act on that difference in non accepting ways, it becomes a judgement. If you love vanilla and I love chocolate and I criticize you, try to convert you or drop you like a hot cake because of it, then I would agree that I am judgmental. But simply expressing beliefs that are different than someone else’s does not make a person judgmental.
Now, could me expressing my beliefs lead to someone feeling judged? Absolutely! However, this one’s on the receiver not on the person expressing their beliefs. If the difference is perceived by the receiver as them not measuring up, or feeling “less than”, it is my observation that instead of looking inward to understand and reconcile this difference, it’s much easier to redirect that negative energy (guilt, shame, fear) outward and claim “I’m being judged”. Though not easy to do, we all need our beliefs challenged. We need to find the courage to second guess our beliefs so that we can find our own truth. Many of our beliefs were inherited, passed on from others and to truly Live Our LIFE, we need to continuously challenge our beliefs until we achieve clarity on which align best with the truth of our soul. Once we arrive, there’s not much others can express that would move us negatively. My favorite quote that comes to mind is:
No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
~ Eleanore Roosevelt
The last point I’d like to make is that it’s important to remember we all are capable of disagreeing with acceptance and without disrespecting. However, it’s important to pay attention to a few details to be able to express our beliefs without belittling others. We do this be using “me” words like “l believe”, “my beliefs”. We do it by staying away from generalizations, by not speaking for others.
There are no two people out there that are 100% aligned in all their beliefs. True, we do tend to form our close tribes based on how much we have in common, but this doesn’t mean we can’t accept & love people who share different beliefs. There’s this wonderful space known as “duality”. We can learn to exist in this space vs the very familiar space of “opposition”.
I hope this provides some clarity! I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, ideas, views. Have a wonderful weekend sweet friends!
Much love & light ✨?✨
Dee
Well said. I really like the party of using “me” works rather than generalizing. That got me in trouble today as a matter of fact. Thanks for sharing. It was a good read and good reminder.
Thank you Beth!?