Who are you? This seems like such an easy question to answer, but is it? This is one of my favorite questions to explore with my coaching clients. It turns out the answers are intricately folded in layers that together form who we are. So let’s explore…
When asked this question the first answers to surface may be: I am a mom, a teacher, a husband, an engineer, a son, a daughter, etc. If we think about these answers they more describe a role we have in this world. So I would ask to then dig a little deeper, and start describing who you are instead of what you are. So I may hear: I am tall, short, fair skinned, dark skinned, thin, healthy, overweight, underweight, etc. We’re getting closer as you are describing your own physical attributes which of course are part of who you are but what if you dig deeper yet?Will you see there is so much more to who you are than your personal traits, roles and relationships.
So dig just a bit more to keep uncovering who you are. This is when you start to realize that you are also kind, loving, bold, fun, confident, ambitious, accepting, generous, sincere, honest, engaged, giving, motivated, sensitive, patient, curious, peaceful, graceful, flexible, forgiving, spiritual, truthful, talented, worthy, creative, etc. Is this starting to feel more authentic, closer to who you are at the soul level? Ah…so there it is! This is who I am, you may think at last. Great job getting to such truth!
Here comes that demanding coach to tell you that although you have gotten much much closer, you are still not finished exploring the whole of who you are. There is yet another part of us that we may instinctually stay away from because it’s painful to acknowledge. It is the imperfect side of us, or as others may call it: the darker side of us. It is the part that we dislike about ourselves, the part that the ego will defend to no end so that it doesn’t get exposed to others.
I’m here to tell you that to live authentically we need to acknowledge and embrace this side of who we are just as much as the rest. It’s in our own interest to stop pretending that this part of us does not exist because others can so easily see & sense it. It is our ego that creates the illusion that this part of us is concealed. We look really really silly when we go to great lengths to deny it when confronted by others.
So just relax in knowing that we all have this darker side, also known as a shadow! Marianne Williamson does such a nice job describing this:
“The shadow like all darkness, is not an actual presence, but is rather the absence of light.”
What she tells us here is that this darkness is not the presence of something bad within each of us, but the absence of something good. To shadow, the light is an enemy. But to the light, the shadow is nothing. It simply does not exist.
My message is that we need to focus on the light, the good, the positive and truth my friends encompasses all three and is a great place to start. Find some moments of stillness and allow truth to wash over you to help you find the emotional courage to admit that this side of you exists. I’m here to tell you that by not acknowledging and embracing it we are not able to truly experience our lives to the max and live an authentic, joyous, happy and peaceful life. Isn’t that what we all desire after all?
Embrace all of you my friends!!!
Sending much love to you all!?❤️?
Dee
P.S. If you are interested and taking the journey to dig a little deeper, I’d love to help you get there. Contact me to schedule a session via the “message button” on my “Mastery of Joy” Facebook page.
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