The Marriage Scorecard
As my husband and I are beginning to celebrate our anniversary…this morning, during my quiet time, I’ve been contemplating on what it is that we actually celebrate on marriage anniversary dates. To be blunt it never really resonates well with me when I see people post about their anniversaries by strictly making declarations of how many years it’s been. It’s difficult for me to see time, alone, as the best measuring stick for a marriage.
Yes, time does matter to us too because it signifies longevity, perseverance, resilience…but I’d say our marriage is typically measured by how much joy we experience together, how connected our souls are at the end of our days, how much we’ve grown as individuals and as a couple throughout our time together.
We can probably disect it even further but when I step back and look at what this all really means…a marriage can be best measured by how well each of the two people are upholding the promise they made to each other through their vows when they said “I do” plus the other promises they’ve made to each other throughout time since the “I Do’s”.
It is safe to say that a couple that has been married for 3 years, where each has figured out how to be a faithful, truthful & present partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as in sorrow, to love unconditionally, to support the other in their goals, to honor and respect them, to laugh and cry together, to accept without judgement and to relentlessly give their best, has more cumulative marriage bliss than a couple who on paper has been married for 20 years and does few of the above.
Falling in love is easy…staying in love is so wonderful & special. I love that my husband and I are more in love today than the day we married. We’ve both relentlessly given our marriage our very best, and yes our best varies from day to day. We each value true love & the sanctity of marriage. We’ve loved, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve grown…WE’VE LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!! Together we’re showing/teaching our kiddos to LOVE DEEPLY, GIVE FREELY, VALUE TRUTH, ACCEPT WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, FORGIVE RELENTLESSLY & LIVE FULLY.
All this fills my heart with pure joy and it is this feeling of JOYness that consistently shows up in both our souls that reassures us that we have a great marriage. It really isn’t the time that we put in that matters. It is the quality & value of the time we put in that matters. I will close with a wonderful quote from Elizabeth Gilbert…
To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.
Have a wonderful weekend my friends!
Much love, Dee ❤️
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